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Family Guy: Road to the Mediaverse (my fanfic)

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Family Guy: Road to the Mediaverse (my fanfic)
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Joined: 13 May 2014
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Post Family Guy: Road to the Mediaverse (my fanfic) Reply with quote
Here's my Family Guy fanfic that is also on Feel free to review and comment.

Author's note

This is my "upteenth" attempt at a fanfiction, and I believe in it enough that I'm posting it here, something I've only done once with my very first fanfic (which I admit was terrible, an absolute piece of shit). But I have confidence that with this fic, I may get at least a few laughs. Out of all my fanfic attempts (most will never see the light of day), this is the only one I believe I will completely finish. I've already got the main points of the chapters set up, it's just a matter of filling in the blanks I haven't written yet. The ideas came sporadically at first, but over time, I'm putting more and more thought into it.

Fair word of warning: This story is full of Family Guy-esqe humor and the "4th Wall" is broken many times (at my expense).
Please read and review, but if there's criticism, please make it constructive. I hope you all enjoy this!

"Viewer Discression is Advised"
(Title Sequence)

I made it to give you a sense of what's in store. It is essential to the story to watch the video first.)

Ch. 1
Scene 1 - Stewie is in his room tinkering with a new device. Footstep are heard coming up the steps. Brian walks into the room and up to Stewie.

Brian: Stewie, what are you doing up here? You haven't been downstairs in two days, what gives?

Stewie looks up from his device at Brian.

Stewie: I'm still getting over the shock of the VMA's. (shivers in disgust)


Scene: Peter, Stewie and Brian are sitting on the couch watching TV.

TV Anouncer: And now back to the MTV VMA's 2013.

The TV then shows Miley Cyrus twerking. The three Griffins have looks of horror on their faces.

All three: AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Brian: Ugh, I think I'm gonna be sick!

Stewie: OH GOD! It's burned into my corneas!

Peter: GEEZ, watching this is more painful than the time I tried to shave my pubes with a straight razor...


Peter is standing in front of the mirror, naked, but is only seen from the mid-belly up.

Peter: All right, Peter... You can do this... Just relax... Take it nice and slow... Don't let anything distract---

Lois: (knocking at the door) Petah?

Peter: AAAAAHH!!! Damnit Lois you just made me John Wayne Bobbitt myself!!! (variation: "you just made me Jewish.")


Brian: Whoa, a cutaway within a cutaway! That's something you don't see every episode.

Stewie: (looking annoyed) That's because this isn't an episode.

Brian: It's not?

Stewie: No its a fanfic.

Brian: A fanfic?

Stewie: Yes a fanfic. It's short for fanfiction.

Brian: Well, what's a fanfiction?

Stewie: A fanfiction is a story made by a fan of a movie, tv show, book, video game and/or anime. Some of those writers are very talented, (Shameless fanfic plug warning) like the person who wrote "A Very Freakin' Family Guy Mis-ED-venture," keep up the good work, you. (Shameless fanfic plug end) But some make stories that should never see the light of the Internet, and I won't give you examples because I don't want you to be tempted to look at them. Part of you will die inside if you read some of those. Then there are the really weird ones who pick ideas from the obscurity of their minds, and make stories that fall into Internet obscurity. I have it on good authority that the guy who's writing this is a 26-year-old loser who comes up with his best ideas when he's waiting for his meds to kick in... What a douche.

(T-MAX X-H grumbles offscreen)

Brian: That's... interesting. But I wanna know what you've been doing up here the past two days.

Stewie: Well I've been working on a new device.

Brian: It looks like you're making a handheld game system.

Stewie: It looks like that to fool any average sap-ooooohh, sssorry about that.

Brian: Bite me, jackass.

Stewie: Alright, alright, don't get your tail in a bunch.

Brian: Look, just tell me what that thing is so I can go back downstairs and finish watching "Suits".

Stewie: Oh, nice show. Well that does somewhat pertain to my device. You remember our multiverse journey?

Brian: Yea. It was one of the strangest "Road to" adventures we've ever had. It was almost like a bad acid trip...

Stewie: Yes, well I've made this new device for a similar purpose. Instead of traveling through the multiverse, this device will allow us to travel through the Mediaverse.

Brian: What's the Mediaverse?

Stewie: It's like the multiverse, but instead of alternate universes, we'd be traveling in to other stories in different forms of media. Movies, TV Shows, Video Games, Books and anime.

Brian: Sounds interesting, I guess. But what's that device made of?

Stewie: Well, I'm glad you asked. The device is made up of a few different things. The bottom half of the device is made from an old PSP, the 3000 model to be precise. The top half is made from the top of a Nintendo 3DS XL. I've upgraded both displays with HD screens and the 3DS cameras with top-of-the-line HD cameras. The cameras also function as scanners for the environment to help determine where we are, which works in conjunction with the Internet. Oh-and I also added a second analog nub to the PSP portion of the device. You never know when you'll need two analog nubs...

Brian: Isn't that what you're penis is basically? A nub?

Stewie: Oh ha ha, very funny. Says the dog who has no testicles!

Brian: I'm not neutered, Stewie.

Stewie: Oh... Well, I guess that insult was useless then. Just wait till I come up with a real zinger!

Brian: Oh boy... Can't wait...

Stewie: Anyway, the device's travel jump system is powered by a microchip made entirely of crystallized Martian soil.

Brian: Why that?

Stewie: Because it's the perfect substance to use for time, space and dimensional travel. I tested it extensively for this specific purpose.

Brian: But how did you figure out it could be used for that... Wait a minute! How the hell did you get your hands on Martian soil in the first place?!!! Even NASA doesn't currently have the means to get that from Mars to Earth!

Stewie: (grinning evilly) Ohhhhh, I have my ways...


(Setting-Surface of Mars)

The Mars Rover is collecting Martian soil samples from the surface. From behind a boulder, a Stewie-like robot with wheels on its feet rolls toward the Rover, holding what looks like a stick.

Robo-Stewie: (holding up and slightly shaking the stick, speaking in a semi-robotic Stewie voice) Hey, Rover. You want the stick? Want the stick, boy?

Mars Rover: (drops a soil sample in mid collection and starts acting dog-like) Bark-bark!

Robo-Stewie: Go fetch.

The Rover goes after the stick, and Robo-Stewie picks up the sample and puts it in his front container.

Robo-Stewie: Mars robot 01 to Stewie. Soil sample obtained. Preparing to send to Earth. Energize...

The soil sample is transported to earth instantly. Stewie is at the other end of the transport system. He grabs the soil sample.

Stewie: Ohhhh Yeaaa... Kiss my ass NASA!!!

---------------------------Cutaway ends-------------------------

Stewie: Yes... Serves them right for becoming privatized.

Brian: Sometimes I forget what a maniacal genius you can be.

Stewie: It's only because I've mellowed out slightly over the years. 300 joints will do that to you.

Brian: Wait, you've kept track?

Stewie: Yes, that happens when your I.Q. is greater than that of the town you live in.

Brian: You're not lumping me in with that bunch, are you?

Stewie: Of course not! You and I are probably the two smartest guys in Quahog.

Brian: Wow, thanks for the compliment Stewie.

Stewie: Hey, it's true. If you weren't smart I probably would've killed you by now. But don't get used to it... You won't be getting many more, if any, compliments during this fanfic.

Brian: It's comments like that that make me not want to do things with you.

Stewie: Hey, don't blame me! Blame the bastard writing me this way!

Brian: I don't think he's stretching your personality as much as you think.

Stewie: That hurts, Brian. Very much so...

Brian: (pause, then heavy sigh) I'm sorry, Stewie. I guess all this stuff is hitting me at once. God, I need a drink.

Stewie: Really, Brian? Drinking at noon?

Brian: Hey, it's 5 O'Clock somewhere.

Stewie: Well we could stand here shooting the shit for hours but it wouldn't make for a good story, would it? Besides, I'm dying to give this thing a spin! The possibilities of where this device can take us to is endless! Would you like to come along?

Brian: I'm really not in the mood... but something seem to be compelling me to go.

Stewie: I bet I know what THAT is... (Stewie looks at the "4th wall" with a smirk on his face, as if to say "you can't fool me T-MAX X-H.")

(Offscreen T-MAX X-H shrugs his shoulders and says, "Yea, it's me but I'll bet you don't give a shit...")

Stewie: Ok, Brian. You ready to go?

Brian: Can it wait a few minutes? I wanna go downstairs and drink a beer first.

Stewie: Well, you could do that... Or you could possibly have a mojito with say-Sam Axe!

Brian: That would be great! But what are the odds we go to Burn Notice first?

Stewie: Astronomical, but who's counting?

Brian: Alright, but if we don't end up there, where ever we go first, you're gonna buy me some booze.

Stewie: Fair enough. Alright, Brian. I don't know how the jump will effect us, so be prepared for worst case scenario...

Brian: What's the worst case scenario?

Stewie: Well, we may, ummm... (saying quickly under his breath) turn inside out, shit ourselves, fuse together, or become republicans...

Brian: Wait a minute! Wha-

The two teleport from Family Guy to the first stop in their Mediaverse journey...
---------------------------End Ch.1-----------------------------

Ch. 2
(Burn Notice Mediaverse)

The incoming teleport sequence plays out, and Stewie and Brian appear just outside a Miami cafe.

Brian: We made it! But, where are we?

Stewie: (looking at the device) Well I can't say for sure yet, because the device is recalibrating. I hope this doesn't become an issue. But from the look of the scenery, I'd say wherever we are takes place in Miami, Florida.

Brian: (looks around) I think you're right Stewie. Plus, the cafe over there looks familiar...

Stewie: Well let's go have a look, shall we?

Stewie and Brian walk across the street to the cafe/tiki bar where a certain ex-Navy SEAL is drinking a mojito.

Brian: Is that... Sam Axe?!

Stewie: Looks like him... (the device dings at Stewie, and he looks at it) Yep, it is. The device confirms we are definitely in Burn Notice.

Brian: (acting like a fanboy) Oh my god! I'm going to drink mojitos with Sam Axe! (making his voice sound cool) The Axe man. Chuck Finley.

Stewie: Ugh. Brian, just do me one favor... When we go over there, don't act all... fan girl on him. Ok? We don't want to freak him out and make him shoot us.

Brian: I do not act like a fan girl around famous people! I carry myself with dignity and grace.

Stewie: (glaring at Brian) Bull... Shit.

Brian: ...

Stewie: If he pulls his gun, you're on your own!

Brian: Fine! I'll contain myself.

Stewie: (under his breath) Listen, T-MAX. If you have any respect for us, please get us through this in one piece.

T-MAX X-H thinks about it.

T-MAX X-H: Ok. But know this... You get one. Only one...

Stewie: (thinking to himself) I really don't want to be nice, but I better be for now. Who knows what he can do to me?

Stewie takes a deep breath, then walks over with Brian towards Sam Axe. Sam is sitting at a table finishing a beer. Stewie and Brian approach the table.

Stewie: Hi.

Sam: (looks at Stewie, gets a confused look on his face) Uh, hi... (looks at his empty beer) I gotta stop drinking on an empty stomach. I'm seeing things.

Stewie: You're not seeing things. I'm really here in front of you. And yes, I know babies don't talk normally but I'm a genius. Although technically I should be 14 years old by now...

Sam: It isn't that you're a talking baby, although that's part of it. It's the fact that you and the upright dog look like cartoon characters. It just adds up to one too many beers to me.

Stewie: (grabs the bridge of his nose and lets out a heavy sigh) We are cartoon characters. Hence the reason we're brighter than that dreadful hawaiian shirt you're wearing.

Brian: (gives Stewie an angry look) Hey, don't insult him! He's the Axe Man! I'm so sorry he insulted you Mr. Axe.

Sam: Hold on, the dog talks to?! I suppose next there'll be a talking German goldfish holding an Uzi!

The camera pans quickly to the right, revealing Klaus from "American Dad!" in his goldfish bowl, holding a mini Uzi pistol.

Klaus: Dat's right, bitches! Klaus is in da house! (looks at the camera) Thanks for de shout out, T-MAX.

T-MAX X-H: (to Klaus) No problem. It's time someone gave you some props!

The camera quickly pans back to Sam, Stewie and Brian.

Sam: Ok, who slipped me acid?!

Brian: Nobody. You're not hallucinating... Oh geez, where are my manners? I'm Brian Griffin, and this is Stewie Griffin.

Stewie: (taps his chest twice and makes the hand sign for peace) Sup, home slice?

Sam: Wait a minute. Brian AND Stewie Griffin?! Now I get it, you two are from the "Family Guy" show on FOX! But... How the hell did you end up here?

Stewie: Well, it's a long story. You probably don't have time to hear it.

Sam: Actually, I do. I've had a lot of time on my hands, lately. Business is slow.

Brian: Well, if you buy us a round of drinks, we'll gladly tell you the whole story!

Sam: Ok. Have a seat you two. (to the waitress/bartender) Hey sweet cheeks, dos mojitos and a Shirley Temple.

Brian: Who's the Shirley Temple for?

Sam: For the infant of course! I don't wanna go to the cop shop for giving an alcoholic drink to a minor. No offense, Stewie.

Stewie: None taken. You know, I've always wondered what a Shirley Temple tastes like...

Sam: Well you're about to find out...

The waitress, Gina, brings the drinks to Sam's table.

Gina: Here you are, Sam. Two mojitos and a Shirley Temple for the little cutie.

Stewie: (with a bashful look on his face) Hehe. Thank you, you sweet little minx. (Gina's cheeks grow red, and Stewie turns to Brian) You hear that? She called me a little cutie.

Brian: (evilly grinning) Who's the fan girl, now? (turns to Sam) So anyway, it all started in a little town in Rhode Island called Quahog, and-

Screen cuts to live-action Robert Loggia saying, "8 F---in' hours later..."

Brian: ...And that's how we ended up here. Interesting story, huh?

Sam: Well, that explains a lot. Especially why business has been slow since Mike's been gone, and how you two can be here. And how Stewie can get drunk from Shirley Temples...

Stewie: (speaking with slurred speech) H-h-hey! I-I am not drunk! I-I'm jussst dehydrated-hy-hy-hyyyyyyyydrated. Tttthat's a funny word... Deeeeee-HIIIIIIIIIGH-drated... (instantly sobers up) Naaaaah, I'm just messin' with you.

Brian: Yea, and hey. Look at the bright side, there's talk of a spinoff for you and Jesse...

Jesse walks up to the table, speaking into his smartphone.

Jesse: ... Yea, we'll be there in 30 minutes. (ends call) Hey Sam, our drought's over. I just got a call from- (looks at Stewie and Brian) Ok, who's working the voodoo here?

Sam: No voodoo, Jesse. These guys are from Family Guy, and apparently we're in a fanfiction story. Now I'll admit that's a ten on the crazy scale...

Jesse: Oh trust me, this is a twenty. Now, I have to pull you away from this because Barry called and has a job for us. One of his clients is offering us 50K to scare away his girlfriend's abusive ex-husband.

Sam: Now, that's a job I can be proud of! Sorry guys, I've gotta get going...

Stewie: No problem. Go bash the bastard's head in!

Brian: How much do we owe you for the drinks?

Sam: Don't worry about it, it's on me! Hey Gina, put their drinks on my tab.

Brian: Wow! Thank you, Mr. Axe.

Sam: Don't mention it. It's worth the entertainment. Have fun with your adventure, guys!

Sam and Jesse walk out of view, and Stewie and Brian get up from the table.

Brian: Well, Stewie, I've gotta admit this journey was a good idea! I got to drink mojitos and drink them with Sam Axe. Thanks for the experience, Stewie.

Stewie: You're welcome. But we're not done yet! This was just the first stop in our Mediaverse journey. We've got way more places to go!

Stewie presses the button and the two are transported to the next Mediaverse.

---End Ch. 2---

Ch. 3
(Ranma 1/2 Mediaverse)

Stewie and Brian appear in front of a Japanese house in a courtyard.

Brian: Where are we now?

Stewie: Well from the look of it, I'd say we're in some Japanese anime from either the late 80's or early 90's. The colors are less vibrant and the image quality of this Mediaverse is somewhat fuzzy.

Brian: Well, what's the device say?

Stewie: It's recalibrating again. This better not turn into an issue... (the device recalibrates) Oh, there we go. According to the device, we're in the Japanese anime, Ranma 1/2.

Brian: What's it about?

Stewie: Huh. That's weird... For some reason I'm only getting bits and pieces of information on it. There's something about China as a location. I thought Japanese animes didn't take place anywhere but Japan.

Brian: That's not true, Stewie. Japanese anime isn't restricted to Japan locations. They can take place anywhere... Japan, China, Europe, the US, even space. They can even be set in fictional locales.

Stewie: Oh... I had no idea. Well that shows you how much anime I watch.

Brian: How much do you watch?

Stewie: Not much, anymore. Pokemon was the last one I watched.

All of a sudden, a tiny old man bursts out of the roof and up into the distance. Stewie and Brian follow with their eyes and heads.

Brian: That looks like... An old man! Boy, he's flying far.

Stewie: Yep, at this rate I'd say he'll be halfway to the moon in 5 minutes.

Roger: Wow! He's going far this time.

Stewie: Roger?! What the hell are you doing here?!!!

Roger Smith: I'm here for the peep shows! Gotta set up meh lawn chair first.

Brian: What peep shows?

Roger: Brian, there are three women who live in this house, and they all look great and are easy to see in the window. There's also a forth woman who is here sometimes, a red haired girl, or a ginger as I like to call her, who's probably the hottest of the four. Plus she's got a nice big pair of breasts on her hourglass figure, bigger than the others. The kind of breasts you just wanna motorboat!

Brian: Maybe the red headed girl is a central character in this anime. Does your device say anything else, Stewie?

Stewie: I'm starting to get the beginning of the synopsis of the show. (Some banging and Japanese language can be heard) Oops! Almost forgot to turn on the translator. (presses a button) There, that should be better...

Akane: Ranma, you pervert!!!

Ranma: (jumping backwards out the back door) Akane, I thought we were past all this!

Brian: I have a feeling you should read that info quick.

Akane: You've upset me one too many times today! I'm going to kick your ass!!!

Stewie: Ok. According to the device, that boy in front of us is the main character, Ranma Saotome. Ranma and his father, Genma, went to China to train in anything goes martial arts. But they fell into cursed springs. Now whenever they touch cold water, Genma turns into a panda, while Ranma turns into...

Akane kicks Ranma into the pond, and girl-type Ranma appears.

Stewie and Brian: ...A GIRL?!!!!!

Roger: Wow. Never made that connection before...

Brian: What do you mean?!

Roger: Well, I heard that girl and the guy she was before both called Ranma, but I didn't connect the dots. I should've seen that. They both have the same hairstyle, albeit different colors, and they both look equally hot naked!

Brian: Wait. How would you know what HE looks like naked?!

Roger: (sigh) I equally like men and women sexually. If you haven't figured that out by now you've been living under a rock...

Peter: Did someone say... rock?! (starts playing "Rock Lobster" on his acoustic guitar) There was once a guy... Who became a girl, in cold water-

Stewie: (interupts Peter's playing) Shut up, for fucks sakes! SHUT-UP!!! I'm not in the mood to hear your ramblings! Go-home, Fat-man!!!

Peter: (walking away, sad) Ohhhhh...

Brian: Ok, this is getting strange.

Roger: I'd like to get some strange from that cross-gender freak in the water!

Ranma looks over and sees Stewie and Brian, but not Roger.

Ranma (girl-type): Who are those two freaks?!

Akane: Whoever they are, their trespassing.

Ranma (girl-type) Let's get them!!!

Stewie: Oh shit. Brian, evasive maneuvers 10!

After a slight pause, Stewie and Brian run away with their arms in the air, screaming like little girls.

Stewie and Brian: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Roger: (turning around in his chair) You guys should've been incognito! Why do you think they can't see me?! Because I'm cloaked!

Ranma and Akane run past Roger, spinning him around in his lawn chair, breaking it.

Roger: Ah nuts! They ruined my perfectly green lawn chair that I bought from Walmart for 5 bucks! Welp, just goes to show you can't depend on lawn chairs made in China...

Stewie and Brian run for the fence, trying to find an opportunity to make the teleport jump.

Brian: Stewie! Press the button and get us out of here!!!

Stewie: We can't jump with them getting close!!! If we do, we run the risk of taking them with us!

Brian: Well, what do we do?!

Stewie: We need to jump onto that conveniently placed trampoline over the wall to give us enough space to make the teleport jump!

The running music from the end of "Ferris Beuller's Day Off" starts to play as Stewie and Brian run to the trampoline. They jump on the trampoline and go in slow motion till they hit the ground.

Brian: Press the button! QUICK!!!!!

Stewie: I'm on it!!!

Stewie presses the button just before Ranma jumps over the wall. They disappear and Ranma hits the ground where they were, face first. Akane jumps over and lands on Ranma. Ranma pushes Akane off of her and looks around.

Ranma (girl-type): (with a look of confusion) Huh? Where'd they go?

Genma as a panda walks up to the wall and holds up a sign written in Japanese that translates to, "Did either of you notice the alien stuck in a lawn chair in our yard?"

---End Ch. 3---

Ch. 4
(The Simpsons Mediaverse)

The incoming teleport sequence plays out, and Stewie and Brian look at the simple-looking living room around them.

Brian: Huh... Simple, yet dull. And yet somehow familiar.

Stewie: Yea, it does seem familiar for some reason...

Suddenly, Homer Simpson walks into the living room, a half-eaten MnM's candy bar in one hand and a Duff beer in the other.

Homer: Mmmm... Chocolate. (look down and sees Stewie and Brian) AHHHH! It's a walking football with eyes!

Stewie: And you're a fat, balding, yellow, waddling ball of dough. What's your point?

Homer: Oh, you're that talking baby from the Family Guy show. I didn't recognize you without the ray gun. (looks over at Brian) Oh, hi Brian.

Brian: Hey, Homer. How hangs the "hammer?"

Homer: A little lower everyday.

Stewie: Wait. You two know each other?

Brian: Yea, we know each other from FOX/Adult Swim poker night.

Stewie: How come I wasn't invited?!

Brian: Because you have to be able to see over the table without a booster seat.

Stewie: You're a bastard, you know that?

Homer: I'll say, he cleans me out every time!

Stewie: That reminds me Brian, where's my money?

Brian: Let's not start THAT gag again!

Homer: Hey! Does you two being here mean we're doing the crossover episode of our shows already?

Stewie: No. That's not until fall of 2014.

Homer: Ohhhh. I hate waiting for fun stuff! Well, at least this appearance is worth money.

Stewie: Actually, you're not getting payed for this cuz this is a fanfiction.

Homer: DOH!!! Wait, is a fanfiction like those erotic stories about cartoons that I caught Bart reading on his computer?

Stewie: Maybe. But not all fanfictions are erotic. Like this one, this is just a "humorous" fanfiction story. Humorous being an iffy term in this case.

A Duff beer can hits Stewie on the head.

Stewie: OW! Whose the bastard who threw that?!!!

Brian: It wasn't me.

Homer: Don't look at me! I've still got mine! And throwing a full beer like that is sacrilegious!

Stewie: Well if it wasn't you two, who- (looks at camera) Youuuu son of a bitch.

T-MAX X-H rolls his eyes and makes a face of "who, me?"

Homer: Hey, you guys want something to eat?

Brian: You got more of those candy bars?...

Homer: MY CANDY BAR!!!

Brian: I wasn't talking about your candy bar, I meant do you have more like that?

Homer: Oh, sorry. Yea, I have more. (handing them two MnM's candy bars) Here you go.

Stewie and Brian: Thanks!

Stewie and Brian eat the candy bars while Homer chugs his Duff beer.

Homer: (BUUUURRRRP) Ah, that hits the spot!

Stewie: Well I can safely say not much else is going to happen here. Thanks for the candy bars Homer, but we need to get going. You know, gotta move the story along!

Homer: Ok! I'm gonna get another beer. See ya!

Homer walks back into the kitchen.

Brian walks over to Stewie.

Brian: You think the official crossover episode is going to be more eventful than this visit?

Stewie: Without a doubt. It'll be written by actual scriptwriters! (holds his hands up) Don't hit me! (looks back and forth) Whew! I guess he's letting that one slide...

T-MAX X-H drops a piano on Stewie's head ala Looney Tunes.

Stewie: (rising from the piano wreckage) Uuuughh... Wwwhat happened?

Brian: You pissed the writer off enough that he dropped a piano on you.

Stewie: Rrrrr. Let's get out of here's before I say something hurtful to him that gets me hurt.

Stewie presses the button, sending them to the next Mediaverse.

---End Ch. 4---

Ch. 5
(Randomized Mediaverse 1)

Stewie and Brian appear after the teleport sequence. The world around them is black and white.

Stewie: What the hell?!

Brian: What's wrong?

Stewie: Everything's in black and white! How do you not see that?!

Brian: Stewie... I'm a dog.

Stewie: (face slowly going from enraged to blank, wide-eyed look, all while silent. He finally speaks) Ohhhhhhhh... Now I am the douche.

Brian: No argument here.

Sounds of a crowd cheering are heard from down the hall.

Brian: Do you hear that, Stewie?

Stewie: Yea, it sounds like there's a sports crowd down the hall.

Brian: Let's go check it out.

Stewie and Brian walk down the hallway. Before stepping into the arena, they see a sign on the wall.

Brian: "K.O. Stradivarius vs. Slugger Mickey "The Mad Mick" Hogan: Championship Match."

Stewie: Hmmm... Both names sound oddly familiar for some reason.

Brian: Let's check it out.

Stewie: Ok.

They walk into the arena at the top row of seats.

Stewie: Holy Crap! It's loud in here!

Brian: This has gotta be a boxing match. Only that can make a crowd sound this insane.

Eddy: Hey, can it dog and football!!! I'm trying to watch the fight!

Stewie: What the hell are Ed, Edd n Eddy doing in a black and white Mediaverse?

Eddy: I said shut it, Football! I need to see and hear the fight! I've got a hundred quarters riding on K.O.

Stewie: Tell me to shut up again bitch, and see what happens...

Edd: Eddy, don't start a quarrel with a baby! Especially one with his condition.

Eddy: What condition?!

Edd: He probably has severe brain deficiencies due to his abnormally misshapen cranium.

Eddy: Quit siding with the freaks, sockhead!

Suddenly, the song "Pop Goes the Weasel" is heard coming from the front row all the way to the top seats.

Stewie: Why do I hear "Pop Goes the Weasel?"

Eddy: Double D, these seats suck! Why did you get us seats in the nose bleed section?!!!

Edd: It was the cheapest seats I could get! All it cost us was one cent per seat. The front row cost a dollar per seat, and you didn't want me to spend more than 75¬Ę on seats! What was I suppose to do!!!

Eddy: You could have knocked out three saps with front row seats so we'd get in free!!!

Edd: EDDY!!! Are you suggesting I should have committed felony assault and theft?!!!

Stewie: Wow... This getting strange.

Brian: Since when do characters from a kid's show know about felonies?

K.O. Stradivarius ("the Three Stooges" Curly) gets knocked out of the ring and into the front row where Larry is sitting. In the process, Larry's Stradivarius is broken in half.

Larry: Oooohhh my Stradivarius!!!

Ed: What is a "Stradgitarious", Double D?

Edd: Well, Ed, a "Stradivarius" is a violin, or other stringed instrument made by Antonio Stradivari or his followers.

Eddy: Enough with the history lesson, sockhead! We're here to make money, not to learn!!!

Stewie: Ugh... Enough of this shit! Brian, let's go see this fight.

Brian: Right behind you.

As Stewie and Brian walk down the steps, they see a 1930's version of Peter Griffin carrying a box of something around to sell.

Brian: Is that Peter? (squinting his eyes) It looks like him... And it looks like he's selling-

1930's Peter: Pot Baggae! Pot Baggae!

1930's Woody Harrelson: (raising hand) Pot Baggae!

1930's Peter: (throwing a bag to him) Pot Baggae!

1930's George Carlin: Pot Baggae!

1930's Peter: Mmmm, Pot Baggae!

Brian: Wait a minute! This is one of our jokes!

Stewie: (looks at the camera, unamused) Really? Stealing our jokes now? Really?

T-MAX X-H ignores Stewie.

Brian: (looking at the front row) Hey Stewie, it looks like he stole another joke...

Mayor Adam West is sitting in the front row, dressed as a hooker.

Mayor West: I heard it's customary to bring a prostitute to these fights, but I only had one ticket...

Stewie: Now that's just wrong...

Stewie and Brian reach the ring, where there seems to be no security. Stewie then realizes something while looking at his device.

Stewie: That's weird, the device is showing this Mediaverse as "Randomized." Well, that explains the black and white film, Ed Edd n Eddy, our stolen jokes and-(looks up) The Three Stooges?!

Brian: Wait a minute... Earlier we would've been led to believe that this was the boxing short, but we get down here, and it ends up being the wrestling one?

Stewie: Well this IS a randomized Mediaverse, so it's probably more dream-like then media-based. And if that's the case this is one really fucked up dream.

Larry: Moe, I couldn't find something to play the song with!

Moe: Why you numbskull! How can I expect him to win now...

Moe looks at a lady in the front row and sees her putting on a certain perfume.

Moe: Wild Hyacinth!!! Oh boy! Gimme that. (turning to Larry) If this don't win the wrestling match, I'll EAT the ring!!!

Moe gets in the ring where Slugger Hogan is spinning around K.O. on his shoulders. Moe ducks before being knocked down by K.O. Moe ends up splashing the perfume in Hogan's face, which stops him from spinning. Hogan then throws down K.O. and stands with a look on his face of "What the hell?" Moe then kneels down to K.O. and splashes the Wild Hyacinth in his face.

K.O. (Curly): (sniff, sniff) (pant, pant) (Curly-smacks his face) (pant) Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo!!!

K.O. then gets up, does the "Curly Shuffle" and proceeds to "Layeth the Smackdown" on Hogan. Eventually, K.O. pins Hogan while bouncing up and down.

K.O.: (while pinning Hogan) Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff...

Referee: (counting to the bounces) One, Two, Three! (taps K.O. on the shoulder) You pinned him!!! It's over!

K.O. then grabs the ref and scoop slams him over the top rope and into the front row.

K.O.: Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo!!!

Moe and Larry enter the ring to try and calm down K.O.

Moe: (to Larry) Larry, tickle his feet! (to K.O.) Take it easy, kid! Take it easy!

K.O. then kicks Larry, then throws Moe from behind him, over his shoulder onto the ring. He then continues doing the "Curly Shuffle."

Moe: QUICK! Grab his feet!

Moe and Larry grab K.O.'s feet, tripping him in the process. K.O. then grabs the ring bell, gets up in front of an arguing Moe and Larry, and proceeds to knock them both out with the bell. More people (probably security and gamblers) enter the ring to stop the madness, and get knocked out one at a time by the bell. Eddy runs to the ring, with Edd and Ed trying to stop him.

Edd: Eddy! DON'T!!!

Eddy: If I don't stop him, he's gonna knock out all the saps that owe me money!!!

Ed: Pet the doggie! Pet the doggie!

Brian: Oh, HELL NO!

Ed lunges from the fifth row towards Brian, who ducks, and causes Ed to hit the side of the ring. Eddy climbs on top of the mounting pile of knocked-out people to get into the ring, with Edd close behind.

Edd: OH the inhumane horror!!!

Eddy: Hey K.O.!!! Knock it off, will ya?!!! I need to collect my winnings from these lose-

K.O. hits Eddy on the head with the bell very hard. Eddy looks dazed.

Eddy: Wwwwwhere's the leak ma'am?... (falls down)

Edd: EDDY!!! (gets to close to K.O.) Now look here, Mr. Stradivarius! In all my years I have never- (K.O. knocks Edd into the ring floor like a hammer banging a nail. Edd is only visible from the shoulders up and looks completely discombobulated) I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, a-bum-buh-bum, a there they are uh standing in a row...

Now the ring has completely filled with knocked out people around K.O., and he's still swinging away.

1930's Joe Swanson: FOR CHRIST SAKES JOHNSON, send the riot squad right away!!!!!

Now K.O. is just hitting the same people again with the bell. Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! He now swing loops the bell. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. Wwwwwwhp!

K.O.: (looking at the now detached string) ...hmmm. (the bell falls on his head. DING! Sounds of tweeting birds are heard while K.O. makes a dumb smiling look on his face before falling forward)

Stewie: Oh my god! Are you FUCKING kidding me?!!! This asshole not only steals our jokes, but also basically reenacts the end of the Three Stooges wrestling short with SLIGHT variation?! This guy is a piss poor writer who wouldn't know how to tell a good story if the story came up behind him and fucked him in the ass!!!

T-MAX X-H gets pissed at these remarks and shakes the story like an earthquake.

Stewie: Alright! I GET IT!!! You're the boss and I'm the jackass who works underneath you-I mean for you!

T-MAX X-H: There you go... (stops shaking everything)

Stewie: Oh god. I think I shit myself during that little tyraid. Good thing I'm wearing the new line of Depends diapers for toddlers! The diaper with adult strength now for children!

Brian: Really, Stewie? All that, and you plug a product that doesn't even exist in the real world?

Stewie: Well, I don't see you saying something to break the tension!

Brian: Stewie, let's just get out of here before Robin Williams shows up and makes this a hell of a lot weirder...

Stewie: Ok, I'm on it!

Stewie presses the button, and the two transport to the next Mediaverse.

---End Ch. 5---

Ch. 6
(Venture Bros Mediaverse)

Our heroes appear after the teleport sequence.

Brian: Where are we now?

Surprisingly, the device dings right away.

Stewie: Oh, thank god for small favors! (looks at the device) We're in the "Venture Brothers," one of the shows on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim.

Brian sees a guy in front of them, shooting at a picture of a man in a monarch butterfly suit. He stops, sensing someone is behind him, and turns and points his gun.

Stewie and Brian: AHHHH!

The guy with the gun looks at them and stops pointing the gun at them.

Brock Samson (Joe/Patrick Warburton): Stewie?! Brian?! What the hell are you doing here?!!!

Stewie: Joe?!!! Is that you?!

Brock: Yes, it's me.

Stewie: But... How?! You're walking and you don't look any thing like you!

Brock: Well, I'm essentially playing myself personality wise, but the difference is that I can walk and I'm almost completely psychotic in this show.

Stewie: (whispering to himself) Not much of a stretch there... (in his normal voice) Does your name appear in the credits?

Brock: Technically, no. I play this character under the name Patrick Warburton.

Stewie: So, how does it work? You changing character and all?

Brock: Well I just switch bodies on the fly between shows.

Stewie: Interesting. So do you enjoy playing this character?

Brock: This character is the reason that I haven't snapped and killed half of Quahog by now. So to answer your question, it's more therapy than fun...

Brian: So Joe, you like being in this fanfic?

Brock: This is a fanfic? FUCK!!! That means I'm not getting payed for this! FUCK!!! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!!!!!

Stewie: Whoa, cool the 'roid rage bro...

Brock: (calms down) (sigh) I'm sorry, Stewie. This character just brings out the worst in me...

Stewie: Trust me, it's not the character... (looks at the camera) It's the writer!

T-MAX X-H has had enough.

T-MAX X-H: (offscreen) Alright, that's it! You wanna have it out Stewie?! Let's have it out!!!

Stewie: Okay! You're a crazy, retarded jackass!!! You're a hack when it comes to storytelling, and you couldn't get a girlfriend if your life depended on it!

T-MAX X-H: Oh, you really wanna go there?! Okay! You're a whiny, selfish, little failure of an infant who doesn't have the BALLS to kill his own mother who you claim to despise yet gave you life! You, my friend, are a waste of human skin and intelligence!
You'll never kill Lois or take over the world because you're all talk and no action. You're a worthless excuse for an evil genius, and your crab cake recipe SUCKS ASS!!!!!

There's an awkward silence, and everyone is wide-eyed and looking back and forth at the camera and at each other. Stewie starts to tear up.

Stewie: W-w-why would you say such hurtful-things... Waaaaaaah! Waaaaaaah!

Brian: Wow, T-MAX. That was below the belt.

Brock: And I thought I was cold as ice!

T-MAX X-H: Hey, Stewie started it!

Brian: Yeah, but your supposed to be more mature than him.

T-MAX X-H: Wow. You really underestimate me... (thinks for a moment, then takes a deep breath) Fine, I'll be the bigger man! Stewie, I'm sorry about all those mean things I said. How 'bout we let bygones be bygones and you and Brian continue on?

Stewie: (sniffling a little) Ok... (thinking to himself) One day, I will watch you burn!

Brian: Well, I guess it's time to get going. See you back in Family Guy, Joe.

Brock: Ok. Oh, and when you get back, tell Bonnie that there's left over hamburger helper in the fridge, and that she's welcome to finish it. It's three cheese, her favorite.

Brian: Ok, will do. Stewie, you want me to press the button this time?

Stewie: (regaining his composure) No, that's ok. I've got it.

Stewie presses the button, and he and Brian travel to their next stop...

---End Ch. 6---

Ch. 7
(Animaniacs Mediaverse)

The incoming teleport sequence plays out and our heroes find themselves in a cartoon version of a real world location.

Brian: I know I've seen this place before!

Stewie: I think you're right. This place looks very familiar. I just need the device to confirm where we are... (the device is recalibrating) (heavy sigh) Maybe I should have spent the extra 50 bucks to get the 16 gig RAM chip for faster speed.

Brian: How much RAM is in that thing?

Stewie: 6 gigs. I didn't think I'd need a powerhouse to get constant information! (looks behind him) Well, this must be Warner Bros studio, cuz there's the WB water tower. (the device "dinks" at Stewie) Ohhhh that explains it... We're in Animaniacs.

Brian: The cartoon show that Spielberg produced?

Stewie: Yep! The same one.

Suddenly, Yakko, Wakko and Dot appear, acting like a train while walking across the screen.

Yakko, Wakko and Dot: Chug-a, chug-a, chug-a, chug-a, chug-a, chug-a, chug-a, chug-a! Woo, wooooo! (coming back around, acting like they're braking) Chhhhhhhhhhh!

Stewie: Uh... Hi.

Brian: What the hell are you three supposed to be?

Yakko and Wakko: We're the Warner Brothers!

Dot: ...And the Warner sister!

Yakko: Not that I'm complaining... buuuuut who are you two?

Dot: Yeah, you don't look like you're from this show.

Yakko: Or this network.

Stewie: To answer your questions; Stewie and Brian Griffin; No we're not from this show; and we're from the FOX Network.

Wakko: Can you two make "Gookies"?

Stewie: What the hell is a "Gookie"?

Yakko: Oh, you said hell. You gotta put a dollar in the swear jar. (pulls out a jar labeled, "Swear Jar")

Brian: You know, I never understood the "swear jar" concept. I mean, what does the money go towards?

Yakko: In this case, it goes directly to Joan Rivers' plastic surgeon.

Stewie: I don't get it.

Yakko: Neither do we.

Brian: Okay... Back to Stewie's original question, what is a "Gookie"?

Wakko: It's when you do this... (makes a "Gookie" face that scares the hell out of Stewie and Brian)

Stewie: AH! I'm gonna have nightmares for a month!

Brian: HOLY SH--!!! Don't do that again around me!

Wakko: (to Yakko) These guys have no sense of humor, do they?

Yakko: (to Wakko) Well, they have no tact, that's for sure.

Stewie: HEY!!! Screw you you red-nosed little prick!!!

Yakko: See what I mean? (to Stewie) and now you owe the swear jar 2 bucks...

Stewie: I'll give you "2 bucks" you son of a-

Brian: (holding Stewie back) EASY, Stewie! They're just kids, they don't know any better!

Stewie: You better keep holding me back before I pummel the shit out of them!!!

Yakko: That's three bucks.

Stewie: Rrrrrrrr!!!

Brian: Maybe we should change the subject...

Yakko: (looking at the camera) Speaking of which, here comes one of our fillers...

Stewie: What filler-

Screen cuts to black, and the "Good Idea, Bad Idea" segment starts to play.

Announcer: It's time for another "Good Idea, Bad Idea." (good idea screen plays) (click) Good Idea... (fades into random clip of...) Ranma 1/2... (clip plays then fades out, cuts to bad idea screen) (click) Bad Idea...
(fades into random clip of...) SheZow... (clip plays then fades out) The End.

Fades back into the scene of the Warners and Stewie and Brian.

Stewie: (saying unenthusiasticly surprised) Huh, we were just in Ranma 1/2. What a coincidence...

Yakko: That was strange, even for us. Normally that segment has a skeleton man who does something the right way, and then the wrong way. I've never seen that segment do one about two different shows, especially about shows I've never heard of!

Stewie: That's because Ranma 1/2 is a Japanese anime, and SheZow is an awful show that came waaaaay after your time. And besides, we're in a fanfic, anything can happen!

Yakko and Wakko: Ohhhhh...

Dot: Well, that explains why Robert Downey Jr. is flying over us SOBER and in a Iron Man/Sherlock Holmes jumpsuit. Wow, he's dreamy...

Wakko: ...And with that I've lost my appetite.

Yakko: Mark it on the calendar, folks! Wakko has lost his appetite. (to Stewie) You and your dog friend just witnessed a miracle of the modern age!

Stewie: (sarcastically) Oh, great. Glad we could've been part of it.

Brian: Maybe it would be best for everyone if Stewie and I just moved along...

Yakko: Hey, don't leave. We're starting to have fun with you guys!

Stewie: (shouting) HAVE FUN WITH THIS!!!!!

Stewie pulls out a Desert Eagle and shoots Yakko in the knee.


Stewie: ...And now you owe 4 dollars to the fuckin' swear jar. You little piss ant!

Stewie hits the button and he and Brian disappear into the next Mediaverse. Yakko is now in severe pain.

Yakko: (fighting to talk through the pain) N-n-now... t-that's 5 bucks... Ugh... (passes out from the pain)

---End Ch. 7---

Ch. 8
(Pokemon Mediaverse)

(Teleport sounds)

Brian: Where are we now?

Stewie: Not sure, the device is recalibrating.

Brian: Well it looks like some type of mid-90's style anime...

(The device has recalibrated)

Stewie: Well let's see... (looks at info screen) Wow, you're not far off. We're in the first season of Pokemon!

Brian: I thought this world looked familiar! Chris and Meg use to watch this before you came along.

Stewie: Really? I too have seen this season of Pokemon. The only season worth watching. And even then only once. The series got monotonous each season after. The characters go from gym to gym, battling trainers and wild Pokemon along the way, earning badges, and competing at a Pokemon tournament at the end of the season trying to be top dog. And it just gets recycled every season. And is it just me, or each season with every new person they introduce to travel with Ash, do his sidekicks just get gayer and gayer?

Brian: Well you would know.

Stewie: (glaring at Brian) Wwwhat's THAT suppose to mean?

Brian: (replying quickly) Nothing! Nothing.

Misty is speaking to Ash in illegible (to our heroes and this author) Japanese.

Brian: Are we in the Japanese version?

Stewie: Ugh. The damn translator turned off again! I don't get it. I'm using google chrome for Internet browsing and translating, and it should be saving the translator always on setting and it isn't. I don't know if it's an update that came through for chrome or if it's clashing with my operating system for some reason...

Brian: What OS are you using on that thing?

Stewie: Windows 7. I thought about using MAC OS X but I'm not that familiar with it. And don't even get me started on Linux! I may be a genius, but even I'm not patient enough to get the hang of that OS! And Windows 7 is the best of all the Windows OS systems. (Looks at the camera) Yes! Windows 8 SUCKS ASS!!!

Brian: Yeeeeeeeaaaaa... Well that's fine but let's get back to the story at hand.

Stewie: (turns on the translator) There. We should be getting the English dialogue now...

Ash is starting a battle with a random Pokemon trainer.

Ash: Pikachu! I choose you!!!

Ash throws the Pokeball.

Pikachu: Pika-chu.

Stewie: (looking at Pikachu) Is it just me, or is that one the only Pokemon that is consistently in every season?

Brian: I don't know. I stopped caring after the beginning of the second season...

Stewie: It just seems weird. I mean, he finds new Pokemon and cycles out the old ones, except for Pikachu. There's got to be at least 100 Pokemon that are WAY better than that by now...

Brian: Maybe their friendship is stronger than Ash's desire to win at any cost.

Stewie: (evil smirk on his face) Or maybe they have a sssssssexual partnership.

Brian: And that's why I implied that you have gaydar, you douche.

Stewie: Brian, one day, when you least expect it, you are going to find yourself in a world of pain...

Ash: Pikachu-use thunderbolt!

Brian: (looking down) Uh... Stewie?

Stewie: Yea?

Brian: Are we standing in water?

Pikachu: Pika---

Stewie: (slight pause) Ohhhhh sh---

Pikachu: ---CHUUUUUUU!!!!!

Stewie and Brian are being unintentionally zapped by Pikachu, and their in severe pain.

Brian: (while being electrocuted) AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! S-s-s-stew-ie! Pr-e-ss th-e b-b-b-b-u-t-tt-o-n-n-n!!!

Stewie: (also being electrocuted) Z-z-z-z-z-z-z I'm t-t-t-t-try-ing!!!!!

Stewie fights through the pain and presses the button. The two disappear through a flash of light being thrust forward (ala Back to the Future) leaving a trail of fire behind that gives Pikachu hot foot.

Ash: What the hell was that?!!!

---End Ch. 8---

Ch. 9
(Back to the Future Mediaverse)


Stewie and Brian are thrown forward from the point of entry to the front of a sign.


Brian: (dazed and confused) Uuuugh... Where are we now?

Stewie: (shaking his head) I'm not sure. (looks down at the device) Ugh! The damn device is recalibrating AGAIN! (looks up at the sign) Hill Valley...

Brian: Wait. Hill Valley? I know where we are! We're in Back to the Future!

Stewie: Huh... How 'bout that? What are the odds... (the device has recalibrated) Oh-NOW the device tells us where we are! Goddamn my technology!!!

Brian: Hey Stewie, I see the Delorean in the parking lot down the hill. Let's get a closer look.

Stewie: Well, got nothin' better to do...

Stewie and Brian run down the hill to behind the semi-truck, and peak around the corner.

Doc Brown: ...When this baby hits 88 miles per hour... You're gonna see some serious shit.

Stewie and Brian watch as Doc remote controls the Delorean and speeds it towards him and Marty. The Delorean hits 88mph and disappears in a flash of light just before it hits Doc and Marty.

Doc: What did I tell you Marty?! 88 miles per hour!!!!!

Stewie and Brian look on as the scene plays out.

Stewie: You know, the effects look so much better when you're actually IN the movie.

Brian: Yea... You're right. Hey-I think it's about to come back.


The Delorean reappears, almost running over Doc and Marty.

Stewie: This is so cool Brian! Don't you think?

Brian: Definitely... (Brian smells something and turns around) (sniff) (sniff) (eyes open wide) Uh-oh. Stewie, we've gotta get out of here!

Stewie: Why? I'm having a great time!

Brian: Stewie, they're coming!

Stewie: Who?

Brian: The Libyans! I can smell them! They're ten seconds away!!!

The Libyans drive toward the parking lot.

Doc: They found me... I don't know how but they found me... Run for it, Marty!!!

The Libyans spot Stewie and Brian first and open fire.

Stewie and Brian: AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!

The two jump out of the line of fire.

Stewie: OH MY GOD!!! That was a close one!

Brian: Stewie, get us out of here before they turn us into Swiss cheese!

Stewie: Oh, nice Die Hard reference Brian.

Brian: What?

Stewie: Oh screw it...

Stewie presses the button and the two are transported to the next Mediaverse.

---End Ch. 9---

Ch. 10
(6teen Mediaverse - Never Again fanfic)

The teleport sequence plays out and our heroes realize they are standing in a huge-ass mall.

Brian: Where are we now, Mall of America?

Stewie: I don't think so, because there's a Canadian flag hanging from the ceiling.

The device dings at Stewie.

Stewie: (looking at the device) This is 6teen, but apparently this Mediaverse isn't TV specific.

Brian: How do you know that?

Stewie: Because there's a small Robert Loggia on my screen trying to get me to click on a link...

Mini-Robert Loggia: (sounding like a mouse version of himself) Click the link, dammit! Click the F---in' link!!!

Stewie clicks the link.

Stewie: Oh, that explains it. We're in a 6teen fanfic called "Never Again." It was written by someone called DemonChild6. (starting to look annoyed) Wait a minute... (looks at the camera) Are you using this chapter to plug a story about lesbians?!

T-MAX X-H: Hey, it's not about that! I'll have you know that DemonChild6 is a very talented writer, and the story was very good!

Stewie: Are you saying it had nothing to do with lesbians?!

T-MAX X-H: No!

Stewie: I find that hard to believe...

Brian: I agree with Stewie on this one.

T-MAX X-H: Both of you can kiss my ass!!!

Stewie: Hey Brian, I just realized some stoner is staring at us...

Camera pans over to the usual meeting spot of the 6teen cast, where our favorite skater/stoner Jude is staring, wide-eyed, at Stewie and Brian from across the food court.

Jude: Whoa... Did anyone else just see that baby and dog appear in lightning?!

Nikki: I think you've been watching to many sci-fi movies again, Jude.

Jude: But I'm not stoned, bra. Well, maybe I am, but I see them right over there!

Stewie: What'd ya say we go over there and fuck with the stoner's mind?

Brian: I'd say fuck yeah to that.

Stewie and Brian walk over to the giant lemon stand where the 6teen cast is sitting. They walk right up to Jude, with the group looking baffled.

Stewie: (to Jude) Hey pothead... Have you ever seen a super smart talking baby before?

Brian: (grinning evilly) ...Or a talking dog?

Jude: (looking amazed) Whoaaaa... (to the group) You dudes believe me now?!

Nikki looks in shock at the talking dog and baby.

Nikki: Ok... We just crossed the border into weirdsville!

Jonsey: Cool! I could make a fortune showing these guys to the public, or even the high school!

Stewie: You wouldn't like our contractual demands... Or should I say, you couldn't afford them! (whispering) Canadian douchebag.

Reggie: I think the kid's cute, and he's definitely smarter than you, Jonsey.

Jonsey grumbles.

Brian: (noticing Reggie) Well, hello beautiful. What's your name?

Reggie: Reggie Valentino, and I'm already taken.

Brian: By who, might I ask?

Nikki: Me.

Brian: Oh I see, well - Whaaaaaaaaat?!!!

Jen: Took awhile for that plane to land, didn't it?

Stewie: Yes. Forgive Brian, as he is sometimes a little slow on the uptake, so to speak.

Brian: Who you calling slow, football head?!

Jude: Duuuude... That's what his head is shaped like!

Stewie: At least mine's got a superior brain housed within it! I bet your head is empty! Except for maybe some pot plants growing inside!

Jude: I don't get what he's saying, but he is sooooo cool to look at.

Jonsey: He's the kind of kid you'd see on National Inquirer!

Stewie: Ohhhh, you're the smartass, aren't you? If I decide to kill anyone here, you're going first!

Jonsey: Ok, the baby's starting to scare me! (hiding behind Nikki and Reggie)

Stewie: Hey bitch! I've got a name, you know!!!

Reggie: (sounding sweet) What's your name, little man?

Stewie: (sounding cool) The name's Stewie Griffin. (notices the guitar sitting by Reggie) Is that your guitar?

Reggie: Yes it is. I'm a musician and a singer.

Stewie: Well, I'm actually a bit of a singer too!

Reggie: Really? Have you done anything I might have heard?

Stewie: Well, I did do a cover of Bryan Adams' "Everything I Do" that I made into a music video. Would you like to see it?

Reggie: Sure.

Brian: Ugh... Stewie, are you really gonna show her that piece of garbage?

Stewie: SHUT UP, BRIAN! It's a damn good video! (brings up his device to the table) I put the video on this device. Check it out...

Stewie plays the music video for the group. (it's an actual music video from an episode of Family Guy, look it up for a laugh) The group has mixed reactions.

Stewie: Well, what did you all think?

Jude: Duuuuude... That was totally fucked up bro. I liked it!

Jonsey: That just cemented you in my mind as a screwed up little baby!

Nikki: It was definitely... original.

Reggie: ...I liked it, it's artsy and gutsy at the same time! And you have a good voice.

Stewie: Thanks, Reggie! It's nice to know someone here appreciates my work.

Brian: ...And there's the inflated ego.

Stewie: (in a low voice) Fuck you, Brian. Fuck you.

Jude: Duuuudes... I gotta get stoned with you two.

Stewie: Sorry, designated driver.

Brian: I'll smoke a bong with you.


Brian and Jude are sitting on a couch, Brian holding a bong and looking content, Jude holding his hat and looking paranoid.

Jude: Duuuude... They're trying to take my hat, bro.

Brian: Who's trying to take your hat?

Jude: Willem DaFoe and the clown from "IT."

DaFoe and Pennywise rise slowly from behind the couch. DaFoe prepares to grab the hat, when Brian spots him.

Brian: Hey Jude, you were right! (holding up the bong) Willem, you want a hit?

---Cutaway Ends---

Stewie: Well, that was inciteful. Well everyone, I'd love to stay, but Brian and I have to get going. We've got one more stop on our journey.

Reggie: Ohhhh... Well I hope you come back and visit us sometime.

Stewie: Not sure if I'd be able to. But, never say never. Come on Brian.

Stewie and Brian step away from the table, wave goodbye, and the Stewie presses the button to take them to their last destination.

Jude: Bye, bros. Those dudes were awesome! (Jude suddenly falls asleep)

Nikki: Well look at that... All that excitement tuckered our little Jude out.

---End Ch. 10---

Ch. 11

The teleport sequence plays out, and Stewie and Brian are surrounded by white nothingness.

Brian: (sarcastically) Oh, great! We must be in media purgatory!

Stewie: I highly doubt this is NBC. (looking at the device) Damn! The device is going nuts! It keeps saying "WTF! WTF! WTF!"

Brian looks up and to his right. He gets wide-eyed.

Brian: Uh, Stewie... I know where we are.

Stewie: How can you know when even the device can't make sense of where we are?!

Brian: Look up and to your right...

Stewie looks, and makes a "deer in the headlights" face. The camera pans out to reveal...

Stewie: ...YouTube?!!! No wonder the device is going bananas! We're in the internet's insane asylum!!!!!

Brian: Yeah! This site gives any two-bit hack with a webcam the chance to become famous for being jackasses! Not to mention people upload scenes from our show all the time!

Stewie: ...And you're upset about that last one?

Brian: I'm upset that YouTube pulls those videos off in the name of "copyright infringement" when those users are just promoting our show for free! It's a crock of shit!!!

Stewie: Easy, Crusher. You'll Give yourself an aneurysm.

A lone mouse pointer comes over and starts flying around them.

Stewie: Hehe, that tickles!

A few more mouse pointers fly around them. They start pecking at Brian.

Brian: Ow! Stop it! Stop it! Ow!!!

Brian swats at the mouse pointers like they're flies, squashing a couple of them.

Brian: Goddamn, those things are annoying! Where are they coming from?

Stewie: Probably the millions of Internet users that log on here every day.

Brian looks up to the YouTube logo in the top left corner of the screen, and suddenly has a look of disbelief and horror on his face.

Brian: We're in deep shit! There's an army of those things coming at us!!!

Stewie: Well, you know the drill. EM 10...

Stewie and Brian start running all over YouTube, screaming as they go. Eventually, they get the idea to take shelter inside the videos.

Stewie: Over there, Brian! We'll make it if we sprint!

They jump into the black space where the video plays.

Brian: What video are we in?

Stewie: Well, let's look behind us, shall we?

The video they're in is a computer screen with a text document opened. The text document says, "Hi today I'll show you how to download Call of Duty Black Ops 2 for free and play it on psp."

Stewie: Oh god. We're in one of those videos that lead to fake downloads that give you viruses! Like being promised sex with a hot celebrity and it turns out to be Lindsay Lohan.

Brian: I don't feel comfortable in here. Let's find another video to hide in.

Stewie: Agreed!

Stewie and Brian step out of the video, and the mouse pointers notice and come after them again.

Stewie: Quick, go down the list!!!

Our heroes climb down the video list until they reach a video titled, "The Majestic scene-redux." The mouse pointers close in, so the two have no choice but to enter the video. The video starts two play...

Emperor Zing: ...And now, to help us wake up the Majestic, The Summonerrrrr...

Stewie: Ohhhh, we're in a clip from our brother show, "American Dad!" I wonder why the video is a "redux"?

The Summoner appears and starts to sing...

Summoner: (singing) A sight for sore eyessss, to the blind would be awful majestic... (camera shows him flying to a platform in the center of the spaceship) It would beee the most, beautiful thing that they ever had seeeeen...

Stewie: Oh, that's why. That's not Jeff Fischer on the platform. (looking closer) It's that Jonsey guy from the Mediaverse we were just in! What the hell?!

The video keeps playing, and we see images of Jonsey being a jerk to Nikki.

Brian: Is this an actual video?

Stewie: Not that the device can recognize...

T-MAX X-H: (offscreen) No... It's a video I would like to make one day. Jonsey and Nikki just seem to be perfect stand ins in this scene.

Stewie: Maybe you'll get to, someday... Don't ever let your dreams die.

T-MAX X-H: Wow... That was the nicest thing you've said to me this entire story.

Stewie: You get one of those, just one...

T-MAX X-H: Still, for that I'll give you a heads up - the army of mouse pointers is trying to break into the video, and they've already cracked the glass!

Brian: Oh my god, what do we do?!

T-MAX X-H: Just sit tight! I'm switching videos right now!

As the video screen changes, for a split-second Stewie and Brian are exposed. But the mouse pointers disappear with the changing of videos. The video they've switch to is the intro video for this fanfic.

Stewie: (hearing the music and looking behind him) Huh? Are we in a video of the multiverse episode of our show?

T-MAX X-H: Nope. You're in the intro video I made for this fanfic. I sent you two to this for the fact there's not many views yet, so no army of mouse pointers.

Stewie: Well... I guess thanks are in order. (starts watching the video) You know, for such a simply edited video, the production quality is pretty good. Did you photoshop these images yourself?

T-MAX X-H: Yep!

Brian: At least this is more appealing to me than Stewie's music video.

Stewie: You really wanna be left behind, don't you?

Brian: No.

Stewie: Well it doesn't matter anyway. With all the interference the device is experiencing from the insanity of YouTube, we'll never be able to get home!

A few seconds later, T-MAX X-H throws something through the screen to Stewie.

T-MAX X-H: Catch!

Stewie: (catches it) What is it? It looks like a signal jammer from modern warfare 3.

T-MAX X-H: It's actually a YouTube jammer. It should block the interference long enough for you to get home.

Stewie: Wow... I-I don't know what to say. Thank you, T-MAX! I underestimated you.

Brian: Come on, Stewie. Let's go home...

Stewie: I couldn't agree more...

Stewie presses the button, and the two disappear in a flash of light, the last one of their journey...

---End Ch. 11---

(back in Family Guy)

After the last incoming teleport sequence, Stewie and Brian appear in front of the Griffin home. Their home.

Stewie: Well, that journey had its ups and downs, and got strange quite a few times, but all in all, I had fun. How 'bout you, Brian?

Brian: ...I never want to do that again. That was the craziest adventure we've ever been on! I thought I was going to lose my mind.

Stewie: Well, SOMEBODY'S got a bug up their ass!

Brian: Let's just go inside. I wanna start getting hammered right away...

Our heroes open the front door and step inside. To their shock, they see Lois (CENSORED) girl-type Ranma on the couch!

Stewie and Brian: UGHHHHH!!!!!!!

Brian: How did she get here?... How did they... HOW ARE THEY...

Stewie: F---ING, Brian! Just say it!

Brian: Are you saying this doesn't bother you?!

Stewie: It freaks the hell out of me! How the hell are they doing it?! I mean-does Ranma's outtie turn into an innie when he's a girl?

Brian: Why don't you just say "does his penis turn into a vagina?"

Stewie: Because I'm trying to sugar-coat it incase any kids are reading this!

Brian: Stewie, I highly doubt anyone under the age of 13 will read this...

Stewie: How do you know that?

Brian: Because this story is rated T for Teens.

Tue May 13, 2014 7:06 pm View user's profile Send private message

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Post Reply with quote
Laughing This is good stuff.
Tue May 13, 2014 8:49 pm View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 18 Dec 2018
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Post Road to the Media verse Reply with quote
Road to the Media verse have residentís big houses, farms in rural areas, etc. lining on the road. Speed limits are only allow the minimum slowest of all 2 types of roads only. I am an Arrow Affordable Essay Writer. Maximum Speed limits of 35 mph all the road way down to 10 mph are general. These Media verse road is only one side wide enough to support 4 lanes of traffic along with 3 or 4 cars parking lanes. In overall, car parking is allowed easily these roads completely. Many other local roads simply end after below 2 mile.
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